im crying

i try to not cry~
but i cant!!!
i cant keep pretend im okay anymore~
im tired~
im a weak~
crying in the darkness in the only best way i can do~
lock my self in the dark room & cry a whole day~
for something worthless~
i try to forget everything~

well~

now i go again with another guy~

after what happened before~

im tired to love again~

i go with the normal feeling~

i dont trust him even he is my bf~

yeahh~

im tired & scared my past will begin again~

so, i keep "played" with another guy behind him~

one day~

i met him at city~

i saw his eyes filled with love and honesty~

omgucci~

i still see his eyes...

on night~

im lying on my bed and thinking about him~

suddenly i realize something~

ohhmygucci~

tears on my cheeks~

he really loves me~

ohhgod~

what i;ve done to him~

:'(

i ask him for forgiveness~

but~

i know its too late for that~

i regret~

flash back

heart,love & feelings :)

i had a bf before this,

but~ sorang pun cannot be trusted!!

i hate them~

i've been broken girl many times~

yeahhyeahh~

sweet talker~

sweet promises~

and at last???

my heart have been BROKEN!

but~

i keep smiling & move, move on~

till i meet the new ones :)

yeahh~ i go again~

but~

what do i get?

nothing~

just a broken heart & tears :')

lost

i lost my self~

i mess up! a lot!

if only i can go far from this fucking place and leave everyone,

i will~

i hate my self..

i hate ppl surrounding me...

i hate what is happening around me...

i hate everything...

everything~

im tired~

tired for fake smile~

tired for pretend like everything was okay~

im tired of everything~

everything~

what all i can do is~

'lock my self in the dark'

miss him badly T,T

i miss him~ 

already 1weeks we havent meet~

omgucci~

if i can meet him now~

i will hug him tightly~

i will kiss him~

felt like im crying now,

just because i miss him :')

yeahh~

many things happen to me since last sunday.

if i can cry on his shoulders now,

i will babeh..

cuz, 

i can't keep actin' that i am

FUCKING ALRIGHT!!

*when i was writing this. i'm crying :'(

bendan

 did youu see that?? he is mine :) fullstop. <3 <3 <3

great day with my bendan :))

 3 of sep :) aww~ is a freat day ever coz im having fun with my baby bii ferdaus :D im so happy on that day :) both of us hangout together, have fun & hell yeahh ;) clubbing together :P ouhh~ and the best part is!! when i saw he dance on the floor! wtf!! damn nice le <3 <3 i like it :)  

my eyes did not blink when i saw him dancing ... 

ilovehimtilltheworldend

ilovehim more than everything :> if ade orang na beli FERDAUS nii dari aku 1juta pun aku tanak xD
cuz, he is more valuable than you think. :)

its time to be honest now :) fuhh~ -,- lately nii aku betulbetul syg dia laa -,- asal eh??? ta pnah kott rasa cm nii -,-'' err~ why siaa o,0' now, aku admit my past mistake to him :( aku tahu before nii aku bnyak bedek dia and sakitkan hati dia -,-'' tpi now, aku cuma harap dia maafkan aku :| aku tahu its hard for him to forgive my mistake :( now aku realize, he is the only one yg aku ada dlm hidup nii -,-'' dia banyak makan hati dgn aku... hmm~ and from now,,, i will pray to god everyday, that both of us will be together forever & ever~ aku hopeee sangat laaaa, dia maafkan aku for kesalahan aku yang melampau... and now, if bole aku na serious dgn relationship nii :) tanak dhaaa aku memain lagi... aku rasa enough laa aku sakit kann hati dia~ fuhh~ nasib baiklahh dia penyabar orangnya :) from now :) after raya nii :) aku akan serious dalam relationship :) no more other guys :) fuhh~ ilovehim :')

EDITED From Ferdaus ♥ ♥ ♥

 

ILove you damn hard ASHIKYN VEE,  ♥ ♥